So you have a job, either one you love or hate. Now add a loving or complicated relationship–perhaps marriage, a family, student debt, social life, and on top of that you have this crew called “bills” asking you for money every month. And perhaps you think you are managing all of your responsibilities well. Perhaps well enough, until you get hit with “another thing”. This “another” could be an unexpected pregnancy, a cumbersome co-worker, illness etc. Then you lose it! You have a meltdown or breakdown…Anything that takes you to a downward direction shall we say. Seemingly you’re angry most of the times, you’re in constant fight mode, or worse–isolation. You become hostile at work, toxic to your spouse, and a nightmare on elm’s street to your kids. There’s no hurricane on the east coast that can match you right now…And it’s hurricane season! You are stuck! And it’s okay because we all have been there quite a few times. To be honest I was on my brink when my entire blog…Yeah the one I’m currently writing totally deleted. Lol. The best way to get out of what I call the “sunken place” is to find balance. However, prior to finding balance you might want to check if you are aware that you are even in the “sunken place”. In fact, knowing your ABC’S (AWARENESS, BALANCE, CONNECTION) is how to get out of that disposition. So let’s begin shall we!
What are triggers to your frustrations or anxiety?
Are you more sensitive or easily offended lately?
What is your threshold (how much can you take before your cup runs over?
What or who are you surrounding yourself around…Follow up: Are they beneficial to your lifestyle goals?
Are you physically active–playing, running, walking, something?
NOW STOP! LET THAT MARINATE!
Chances are that if you are in that sunken place at least 3 out of 5 responses posed some sort of discomfort. And that’s okay because truthfully we all experience this. Recognizing our conscientious decisions and biases are important to promoting awareness. Whether that’s recognizing when to clarify or clearly assert ourselves on a matter, or let to go–we have to be aware. For example, recently I attended a clinical conference in which the speaker compared us to cars. She indicated that how we manage stress may be related to that of a check engine light. Some of us take it in for service and some of us ignore it. Initially, I was like whoa I’m not a machine…i take care of myself and do what I want because I’m independent…Then boom! The more info she provided the more I had to consider how many times I was near the brink of the sunken place. Our bodies gives us warning signs physically and mentally. We just have to be willing to sit and become aware of it. Now how do we proceed.
Stay tune to the chronicles part 2 where we explore how by finding balance. #stayempowered
Tiffany R. Arkwright, MS, LMFT
To schedule an appointment with Tiffany, click here.